I care too much about what you think
See that first photo on my feed right down there? Indee and I smiling about our silly hair. It’s cute, right?!
Well, I stressed for ten minutes before I posted it.
Straight up stressed OUT.
Do you want to know why? Because I know too much about social media.
Here are the things I know (and care) too much about:
– I know that every photo I post looses more than 5 followers (althought most of the time I gain 10)
– I know that it won’t get as many likes as the other photos on my feed
– I know that it will mess with the color scheme of my page (and I’m trying REALLY hard to stay consistent with)
Keep reading, there’s a point (other than my admission to vanity).
Now that I’ve given you a little Ashlee-styled lesson on social media. Here’s my point…
None of that matters. It’s JUST a photo and a photo that will be pushed down in your feed in a matter of moments. I thought that getting to 10k followers on my instagram would be my ONLY goal in social media. This small-town kid couldn’t imagine it. A world where 10k people would care in the slightest on what I have to post! Exciting right?!
But here’s the dirty secret about wanting the fame, it doesn’t fulfill you and it’s never enough.
Now that I’m in sight of 10k, I’m only thinking about the next goal and obsessing over the possibility of 15k and 20k. MORE. MORE. MORE. It’s always more.
This isn’t a blog about boycotting social media to live life to the fullest and I won’t be deleting my account anytime soon (mostly because 50% of my income comes from instagram inquiries and there are bills that have to be paid! hah). Boycotting or deleting the problem isn’t the point. If I give up social media, I’ll find something else to fixate on. We have to get to the ROOT of the problem and I know instagram-envy is just one of my symptoms.
The ROOT is that I find contentment and purpose in popularilty, as fleeting as it is.
< It reads easy, but the realization of that statement is a painful one >
So my treatment is as follows:
– Don’t open the app more than once an hour. There’s NO reason I need to see how many likes I have on a photo every five minutes.
– Put my phone and computer in another room and play with my family. Focusing on my actual surroundings brings me back into reality and the importance of the life I’m living, rather than the life I’m posting.
– Reminding myself that my identity is not in how well-liked or well-followed I am, but in The Lord.
I’m on a mission. Wish me luck!
< This sermon > was powerful and instrumental in helping me realize what I put my identity in.
Trust me, take thirty minutes and give this podcast a listen, Daniel did amazing with preaching it!
Ashlee Kay Photography | Colorado Springs photographer | Family photographer | Wedding Photographer | ashleekay.com/posts | Photographer blog | Colorado photography | photographers